"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. ~ Matthew 6:21"
A life as an auditor means a battle.
You fight a good fight with numbers. You don't sleep. Your brain runs smart and smoothly 24/7 as you are asked to be.
Starbucks, 5-hour energy, Monster or whatever can help you stay alert.
I am speaking as a person who is working in this industry.
Well, I guess I'm just a pass-by.
The motivation to search my career path starts from my realization of losing my vision to be an auditor. People've been trying to convience me not to quit, not to give up. They are all saying, "after you go through this hardest time, your career will be brighter than now". Regardless what their say is not convincing to me, it is also because from what i saw in this industry, how unneccesary of all i have done, driving me away from this field of money and madness. Not saying i can't take up hard work. I could, but i lost my motivation after what i saw.
What kind of darkness i have seen?
I witness how many people are skipping procedures because of meeting the announcement date, which is three months. Three months, yes, to audit 3 listed companies and we have to make sure the golden statement is true.
"No material mistatement in this financial report"
Really true? Really?
I'd like to speak to truth because Jesus asks us to. However, it seems like my dinner conversation with my co-workers ends what i wished.
Here's our conversation: (I translate it to English. It's originally in Cantonese)
"So, Sam. Why did you choose auditing?" A said.
I said, " Well, i think it's important to guard the numbers to be correct, right? I think i am speaking truth when I check and test the numbers"
B said, " If you want to speak truth, then you are in the wrong industry. Nobody can really tell the truth. Everything is just a show"
I was dissapointed.
Another conversation with my client alone during late evening. He was an auditor,not anymore now.
C said, " So now you tried to be an auditor, what do you think?"
I said, " It's hard work and i don't understand the point, the real point of what i'm doing. I dont understand why it is important even the university textbook told us it is important." (I am sure I remember the importance and reasons to perform auditing from the textbook. I may be not a straight-A student but i am sure i ve got the mainpoints.)
C said, " Me either. To be honest, everything that you are looking at could be false. The invoices, debit notes, contracts... If I am wealthy enough, everything could be created and i can present something false and lie to your face."
I was thinking, he is right.
Then, what's the point?
This client shared his experience to be an auditor. He described how he lost his girlfriend after spending months in China. He described how he lost his life and wasted all his years on the paperwork after being an auditor.
I totally understand, because I'm the one who's in the play, for now.
I have been trying to get a hold to my friends but i couldn't. I want to build the deeper and stronger friendships with them but i couldn't.
I say goodbyes to my family and friends from this office battle field.
All because of THIS JOB.
That leads to my next point.
The longer I stay in this undertaking, the more i lose sight of Jesus. Idolty goes crazy in my heart.
Where is the idols from?
Material fulfillment. The longer you work as an auditor, the more you realize you won't have time to read bible and spend the quiet time with God, like literally. (Not me. Because i am still just an intern. PTL) Instead, you can be easily distracted to fulfill yourself with material. To focus on how much money you can earn after nights and nights of work overtime.(to be a Hong Konger...to have "OT"). To focus on good food that you all can get. Japanese, Korean, Western, German , French, American...you have all the good food because that is probably the only leisure time you can have. (Not saying i hate being a foodie and a food critic but i can do it back to the time when i'm a student,right?)
You think you're okay. You still focus on Jesus but no. You won't be focusing on him. After 8 hours of hard work and you get your dinner, the pleasure from eating you feel like that's the only pleasure because you could be dstracted by how many zeroes you saw in the past 8 hours.
Slowly, slowly, you know you put food and salary over God. It's also a progress, a process.
Speaking of process, I won't deny this job is a part of the crazy ride of my process.
I understane process contains pain and experience. Well, this is it. I'm walking on the fire. I experienced and i learned a chunk of what Hong Kongers 've been doing. It is almost time for me to search my next step.
I have faith that i have something i could do and not to feel guilty and pointless about it.
What about the positive part of this job?
Relying on God's grace in all the wilderness i was in.
To learn the art of being content.
While I was stuck in China for 2.5 months, I was quite scared by the environment and my co-workers. Being a guy who loves the western world and who is a reverse "weirdboo", like my friend, Tyler, said. It was overwhelming to stay in China for such a long time because that place was making me seriously uncomfortable. It's difficult to live with people that you consider out of your culture and out of your understanding(still, i barely know them now) but i come to a process of learning to stand for Jesus alone. To learn his grace. To remember he's with me even i was suffering from miscommunication with my co-workers.
I need God's grace to heal my frustration...
I'm mot sure if I truly learn how to rely on God's grace alone, but i do learn keeping God as my forever traveler and comforter.
I was so alone in China but i think I learn how to pray outloud to ask for God like when i was 3 years old, i was screaming to mom for food. Kinda the same i guess. Talking to him makes things felt better, at least i felt better when i was there. Everynight, before i fell into sleep, i was murmuring to him about my day,about my work. That was a time i really tell him everything, to tell him what is going on with me. I got closer to him.
From the pause of this story, i conclude that keeping God IN my journey and doing the adventure With him can never go wrong and he is the one who i can always talk to, even in this office battle field right now.
"When the mountains fall, when tempst roars, you are with me" ~Glorious Ruins-Hillsong United
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